12 Dating Trends to Watch
Dating in quarantine is like cooking dinner on a hot plate. You can make something happen but it takes creativity and tempered expectations. And it’s dangerous.
However, I’m a strong believer that there’s a bit of good in every situation and as we’ve seen in our year of chaos, it certainly bred innovation. In a year of loneliness for singles, we’ve seen a wholesomeness emerge in dating app conversations that may be here to stay. We talk politics on dates now, people take their time instead of stacking their bench, and video chats are the new date zero. So what else will change in the future of dating? We’ve examined the research, talked to the experts and rounded up the top trends.
Social Justice is The New Sexy
Tinder's 2020 Year in Swipe Report examined a year’s worth of Tinder bios to find that support for Black Lives Matter became a must for many matches, and mentions of BLM grew 55x in 2020, exceeding use of the term ‘hookup’ by years’ end. I’ll say that again, the subject of BLM became more important than the subject of hooking up ON. TINDER.
Ignore Dating Sunday
The first Sunday in January has been long regarded as Dating Sunday, when singles resolve to get busy on the apps. But not this year. Research from the team at Hinge Labs uncovered that the busiest time for new users to join Hinge is now in the first weekend of February. Daters take time in January to reflect on their dating life and commit to finding love ahead of Valentine’s Day. In fact, the top new behavior for 61% of users is taking time to focus on themselves before diving into a relationship. Besides, what else is there to do? Dating Sunday was a thing when we finally wrapped up our parties and fun times, relaxed onto our couches and made time for swiping. Now, our couches are closer than ever before, so let’s all take our time.
Video Dating is Here to Stay
More than half - 56% - of singles in Match’s Singles In America study felt some chemistry on a video chat and 50% say they fell in love during a video date this year. And it’s not just one platform. According to Hinge Director of Research, Logan Ury, a whopping 64% of Hinge users have been on a video date, and the majority of them plan to incorporate video into their dating process in the future, even when it’s safe to meet up in person.
Stacking the Deck is Over
Research by Biological Anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher tells us that after being offered about six options, humans tend to burn out — a condition known as cognitive overload or the paradox of choice. In other words, when faced with too many alternatives, we choose none. Dr. Fisher says, "Lockdown may have been good for our love lives because it forced us to focus in, vs. constantly expanding our circles." In an email interview, Dr. Fisher predicted that those who were used to playing the field learned to be more focused during quarantine and may be slow to re-adopt their old behaviors, finding instead that focusing on one romantic partner at a time yields richer results.
We’ll Get Better at the Testing Conversation
Asking a new partner, ‘have you been tested?’ has thwarted many of us, particularly when we felt like an ingénue in the dating world. But today, asking a potential date whether they’ve been tested or vaccinated for COVID-19 is an obvious conversation. In fact, according to Melissa Hobley, Global Chief Marketing Officer at OkCupid, they’re putting it right in the app. “Our in-app questions offer the perfect Dating Sunday icebreaker to help you figure out your deal-breakers – such as have they been Covid tested. This makes messaging a potential love interest in the New Year a lot easier.”
We’re Under-Thinking In 2021
Wondering “Does he hate my lip color?” is an absurd question we can leave right in the trash heap of 2020 where it belongs. Overthinking is out and rolling with it is in, and this isn’t just from someone who has tossed out her own strict policies. In a recent survey of more than 5,000 users globally, Hinge found that the top 2021 dating resolution for more than half (53%) of users is to not overthink their dating lives and be in the moment as they find a relationship. After all, one in three (38%) Hinge users report that the pandemic has led to them overthinking the little details.
Self-Care First, Dates Second
In 2020, mindset was everything, and more than one dating app found a way to flag this important practice to users. Hinge and Headspace partnered to release pre-date meditations while Plenty of Fish teamed up with Shine, the No. 1 self-care app created by women of color, to offer free memberships to users. In 2021 and beyond, we’re going to realize our best dates are only as good as our best selves and we’ll focus on getting our heads right before we go out there and attempt to partner up.
Dry Dating Is Perfectly Normal
“When you’ve consumed 0 percent alcohol you know your attraction is 100 percent unsullied,” says Hilary Sheinbaum, in her book, The Dry Challenge. Gaining popularity is the notion that it’s perfectly okay to cut the booze and re-set in the New Year by participating in Dry January, Sober March or Mocktail May as you see fit, says Sheinbaum. In fact, she says, “Participating in dry months is actually a turn-on. You’re displaying you can commit to something (and probably someone… swoon!) and that you follow through with the promises you make. It’s also likely you’re not going to get sloppy on a date and you don’t have to rely on alcohol to have fun.” What a catch!
The Park - Hottest Date Spot In Town
Date preferences data (pulled directly from Match members) indicate for the first time ever, the #1 date spot for singles is meeting at a park, followed by a restaurant and then a coffee shop. I love this date because you can wait with a prop like a book, a coffee or even an incognito cocktail and keeping the conversation light and gracefully exiting after an hour is as easy as a walk in the park.
We’re Ready to Collectively Settle Down
When asked how the pandemic affected their relationship goals, more than half (53%) of the Hinge community shared that they're ready for a long-term, serious relationship. During the pandemic, over 50% of users also reported adopting new healthy dating behaviors, including being more honest with their feelings and taking time to focus on themselves before diving into a relationship. Let’s face it, gone are the days of two dates in one night, so even if you’re not a relationship person, you can still find joy in taking things slow and settling down into a bit of a cuffing season during this slower dating period.
Ghosting Is Out
While swiping numbers overall have gone up during the pandemic, Hinge Labs discovered that users were ghosting less in 2020. As many folks spent months of the 2020 lockdown breaking bad habits and developing healthier ones — including being more intentional and thoughtful with their matches -- 27% of Hinge users report ghosting less during the pandemic. While history tells a different tale, with 91% of users saying they’ve been ghosted, and 63% admitting they’ve ghosted someone, these new stats indicate brighter days ahead. When you’re dating five people at once and you lose interest in someone, it’s not that you meant to ghost them, it’s just what happens when you’re juggling. It could also be that like 40% of Hinge users, you ghost because you don’t know how to explain why you don’t want to see someone again. But when asked how they would prefer to be treated when someone isn't interested, a mighty 85% of users said, “Tell me! Rejection hurts, but I’d rather know.” So now that we’ve slowed our collective roll, and we know that most people would rather hear a rejection than nothing at all, perhaps ghosting can be left in the past for good.
We Talk Politics on Dates Now
2020 saw the rise of the Thunberging - a generation of daters bonding over their passion for the planet. Melissa Hobley, Global Chief Marketing Officer at OkCupid predicts 2021 will see activism hit the mainstream more broadly with the rise of “advo-dating” with over 40% of Millennial women and almost half of Gen Z already considering themselves as activists – and demanding the same in their partner. Data shared from Hobley shows nearly two-thirds of daters are only prepared to date someone who shares the same political views, meaning politics are now perfectly reasonable as first date talk.
If 2020 taught us anything it’s that no one truly knows what’s going to happen, but paying attention to the changes we’ve made so far, collectively and personally, can help us capitalize on our strengths to forge ahead for a better tomorrow. To your health, and your dating success.
